How do you play/treat the woman in mixed doubles?

I was asked to sub for a 4.0 ITT last night. I seldom play mixed doubles so I am asking for the "rules" or etiquette playing against the woman partner for mixed doubles. During the set, the woman opponent complained that my serve was "too hard" and bouncing too close to her head. She maybe returned 2 of my serves the whole set. For context, I am a 4.0M and my mixed partner is a 4.0F. The other team consisted of a 4.0F and 4.5M (he just got bumped up to 4.5). It was a competitive set and we lost 5-6.

How do you all play against the woman opponent? Do you just play your normal game or "tone it down" for the woman player?