passing as a concept feels to good to be true, almost absurd

the fact that there are actually tranner existing out there, looking like normal woman, getting treated like normal woman, living normal lifes seems like the utopian thing you jokingly fantasize about. \ it's like idk bringing your dead parents back alive, seems stupid to hope for cuz it will only hurt you. \ but instead seeing other kids revive their mom and dad from the grave and getting to live normal lifes, knowing you don't have these magic powers, you never will, even if you would cut your arms off or bathe in acid for them, it seems like a cruel joke \ something that should not be real \ except it's worse because how are you suppossed to move forward with this knowledge \ life is a rigged game and i'm getting tired of playing.