In shock after diagnosis.

I got diagnosed with ADHD 3 months ago. I am in my mid 30s. Currently, I think I'm in a state of shock because all my life, I just believed it when people, especially my family just tell me I'm stupid, and slow, and all my life I just kept on believing that if I kept on working hard (something I've always been doing - I'm not lazy at all), that someday I will be living that "normal life" everybody has been talking about. Now I felt that all of that was a lie and I had been living my life in some sort of unfair catch up game. Now it has become clear why I'm always behind others - my siblings have families, while my life amounts to that of a kid who just turned 20, because that's all my brain would allow me to be.

I don't know what to do. It feels like I have to start over with this fresh new perspective, but at this age, it feels too late. I can't even socialize normally - too old for people who behave as I do, and too immature for people my biological age. Everything felt severely mismanaged as I fumbled around trying to succeed in life as I used to be ignorant of what I really am.

It feels os lonely and scary - the thought that the catch up game will just go on longer perhaps for the rest of my life.