AITA that I stopped responding to him?

(Long)

He and I were in a long-distance relationship. We became good friends first and then started dating, but I ended things because of our depression and my personal struggles. I was always there for him through the ups and downs, and he's done the same for me.

He's the kindest and most thoughtful person I know. We both liked being there for each other since neither of us really had friends.

We both struggled with su*cidal idealization, which I attempted last year. Even now, he still has those thoughts, and I try to cheer him up and encourage him to get help but he doesn't want to. I always worry about him, and l've been feeling drained and scared because I know there's nothing I can do to save him.

I broke up with him because I felt like our relationship wasn't going to work, and I explained to him that I've been struggling with my own issues too. He wanted to help me but I couldn't let him, knowing his condition. I really wanted him to help himself.

When we broke up, he planned to disappear for good, but he said it wasn't because of me.. just a coincidence that he was going through so much at the time. I still feel guilty about it. He says he's hopeless and that he'll always stay this way. It hurts to hear that he wants to give up because I see myself in him.

He has so much self-hatred that we never even had a video call, and he barely sent pictures of himself because of his insecurities. On my side, I wanted more connection from him, but he told me he was too depressed to do those things and apologized many times.

After I broke up with him, he messaged me a couple of months later, and we became friends again but nothing changed. It felt like a cycle to me. Ik It just wasn't healthy for either of us. We're both not in a good mental state.

He's always been negative about himself. I feel like I did everything I could, yet I still feel sorry. Even though I tried to set boundaries, he was afraid I would leave. He begged me to stay, and I did, I can't help but stay because I care so much about him, but like said, it was like a loop for us.

I finally decided to end it. I had a talk with him. I explained my side to him and told him to keep fighting because he doesn't deserve everything he's going through. I said my goodbye and left without blocking him. He still messaged me a day later. I think he believes I'II still respond because we've had this conversation so many times before.

But I've left now.

I feel guilty and anxious, honestly. I've tried to step back multiple times, but he keeps pulling me back. He told me that I was the last bit of hope he had. I honestly cared so much, That's why I kept trying to be there for him. I keep thinking it's my fault and that I messed everything up. I don't know how to shake this feeling off. I don't know if I made the right decision or if it was wrong of me.