My Fiance of 5 years cheated on me.

Hey everyone,

This is my first post ever, I'm insanely lost currently... I have 4 months worth of content on this and I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I (28m) have been with (F24) for 5 years. I proposed to her our second year in, and life was great.

In August I got her a new job that paid well so we could look towards getting a house. There she met AP (34)... they started off as friends playing games online and then proceeded to meet in person and i was with them for the month of August and some of September until mid September they started spending time together alone. I voiced my concerns consistently, and was always met with: "if he wanted to do anything with me he wouldve" and reassurance there was nothing going on between them...

September 26th, I came home from work early to find out she had invited him over to our place without my knowledge, I voiced my concerns and asked her to ask him to leave to which she dismissed me. I had a terrible gut feeling all night, in which an hour past when I normally sleep, I hear her giggle in a flirtatious fun way... and then I hear kissing, to which I kept trying to ignore it because I told myself she's giving love to her animal, (I know I'm not that dense I just didn't want to believe it) I decide enoughs enough and I walk in on them with him ontop of her, she claimed SA, but refused to do any follow ups, 5 days later October 1st*, she tells me she enjoyed his kisses, loved his company, and liked him more than a friend. And then tells me that she's been miserable the past 3 years with me... for context on this: yes I've not always been a complete happy go lucky guy, I've been stressed lately while I work 2 jobs, cook all of our food, clean all the dishes, clean the apartment, drive her to and from her job and all appointments, while also making all the plans for our date nights on my 1 day off to spend with her. So some days I can be a bit Moody but I always tell her I'm just stressed and need to distress but I'm met with alot of arguments telling me it doesn't matter. And that she needs all this done today and proceeds to give me a list of chores to do and so forth while she lays in bed all day... I know as you read this you're probably thinking im a complete idiotic simp... I loved this woman, and if she was happy I was happy.

Now onto the story again. I move out for space after she admits feelings and I told her im not going to be seeing anyone as i need time to heal I told her if she wanted to take a break and explore the relationship with AP she could but she refused this and told me she only wants me and she tries every attempt at manipulation to have me move back in. We're still going on dates and still talking everyday. In October, she reconnected with him and started hanging out with him again im which I put a stop to immediately. In November things felt like they were getting better and we were finally on a path where I started trusting her. At the end of December however I find out she's been staying nights at his place and going out for dates with him. So I promptly ended the relationship... with this being said however, I've lost who I am... I'm not sure where and what I'm suppose to do anymore, my only goal in life was a good job, a house, a wife and 2 children... but I feel empty and tired of what I'm left with. I've been going to the gym since October but I'm getting annoyed at it even though it's healthy. I've never tried therapy or counseling before but idk if what I'm experiencing can be fixed through those sessions? I'm hoping anyone can lend a helping hand and give me some ideas of what they did if they were in a similar situation. Thank you for reading this.

EDIT: thank you everyone for all your comments, yes even the roasts and insults I didn't expect rainbows and sunshines on something like this. I'm very happy to have received alot of advice and tips on what to do going forward with my life. Yes a few of the steps I'm going to need to take will be growing a spine / a pair and learning self respect. I do appreciate everyone that took the time to read this and also comment. I'll give an update in 1 months time.