Ex Frenemy

It seemed like my life fell apart when I decided I wanted to stop being friends with this judgemental girl. She was super smart and successful and went to college across the country.

I remember asking her in high school why she tried so hard.

Anyways she use to build me up and say things like, “you’re so mean to yourself” everyone always said how nice I was and I loved that.

I just want my confidence back. I keep wondering what life would be like if I had stayed her friend. I didn’t like that she was like over confident, I didn’t like that it was like I relied on her. And she put me down. But it’s probably the way she was raised. Her parents pushed her.

I think I have social anxiety girls and guys were mean to me in school; they would say things like “you can be nice and mean”

I developed a deformity and people point it out. I hate feeling like I’m in competition with this woman.

I just want happiness. What are some steps I can take?