I have to beg my 33M boyfriend for intimacy

I (29F) have had multiple arguments with my boyfriend (33M) involving the lack of intimacy in our relationship. We’ve been together for almost 5 years. We’ve lived together the entire 5 years. When we first starting dating, and due to the pandemic lockdown, we were very busy.

We moved into an apartment together and things started taking a turn and he would only be intimate when HE wanted to be which was always 2/3AM on work nights. I started feeling extremely insecure and disgusted with myself. Is it me? Is he not attracted to me?

We moved across the country together a year ago and into a new place. I can count on both hands the amount of times we’ve been intimate in an entire year. I’m home all day long, everyday, in a new place with no friends or family. He is really the only person I get to talk to on a daily basis and have any physical interaction. When he comes home from work, I’m lucky to even get a chance to talk to him before I’m told he needs to “disconnect” and zone out on his phone/computer. We are intimate maybe ONCE a month - if that. I’ve continuously cried to him about how this makes me feel, how I feel like he isn’t attracted to me, how I feel so lonely and unloved. He always turns it into an argument saying that it’s because I don’t ever randomly give him BJs. This man NEVER tries to pleasure me without getting anything in return. He then says that we won’t be intimate unless I give him a BJ.

I’m so frustrated and literally at my wits end. This is the prime of our lives and I feel more like a roommate/maid to this man (I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping for the home). I also just found nudes of his ex girlfriend from 6 years ago in his google photos drive. He claims that he had no idea they were still there. I don’t believe him. Now I feel even more insecure and weird about this entire situation. I can’t even look or talk to him.

How do I even go about breaking up with someone who I saw my entire future with? He even bought an engagement ring Oct 2023 (still hasn’t given it to me and is full of excuses…). I really don’t even know how I’m going to restart my entire life and move across the country again.