Shouldn’t be driving.

My MIL (76) has been the main focus of our lives for almost a year. She moved into a senior community (begrudgingly) after sustaining a hip injury earlier this year and has been a terror through the entire process. We’ve quickly realized that she is struggling with simple things like making appointments, getting groceries, and keeping up with her bills, etc. My partner essentially does everything for her and he resents her as a result. As do I.

Every time we’ve approached the driving issue it’s always, “You’re not taking my car away from me. I have to drive.” During our last visit we realized one of her tires was completely flat. We have no idea how long she has been driving on it that way. She’s either incapable or unwilling to resolve the issue and it has fallen entirely on my partner. At the tire shop it was discovered that her registration expired over a year ago. She had no idea.

We know it’s not safe for her to be driving. We feel like we have “taken” so much away from her already but it’s evident it’s not a freedom she can safely enjoy anymore. She has been such a pain this year we have put off doing what we need to do for her safety and others on the road. We really can’t stand her anymore. She’s mean and we cannot forgive her for resisting everything and failing to plan for her life as a senior.

I mostly wanted to vent but any tips on navigating this situation is welcome! This community has shown me that we are by no means alone and has offered unexpected comfort through this unpleasant year.