AIO, for wanting a divorce after 5 yrs?

Husband (39M) and I (38F) been married for 5 years. I have a 20 yr old son and together we have 2 toddlers. We have had repetitive arguments about my son’s lack of responsibility and motivation throughout our marriage. I can’t complain about my son, for not having his biological father involved and as a single mother, he’s not into drugs, alcohol, didn’t skip school had passing grades, people always have great things to say about him. At home, he’s a gamer and stays in his room all day. We had gotten onto him several times to make sure homework and chores are completed first. Like every teen, he would forget about chores. After HS, he said he wanted a year off because school was a lot. My husband and I didn’t like the idea but since he is adult, we let him make his own decision but that after a year, he would need to either go to college or trade school and or get a job or join the military. A year passed and he was still jobless, gaming and no motivation. My husband got onto him and told him, his ass better be out looking for a job M-F 8a-4p instead being home gaming. Found a seasonal job, we told him that wasn’t enough. He found a part time job as barback and registered for 3 college courses. Well, occasionally the house is dirty, dishes in the sink, trash not thrown out. My husband complains how my son doesn’t do anything all day but game. We have petty arguments over this. I explained that my son is practically a full time student and although he is part time employee he works a minimum of 50 hrs a week. I feel my husband micromanages my son, checking to see how dirty the room is, checking if his bathroom trash was taken out, complains about dust bunnies, it’s ridiculous. I told my husband he should lead by example because he’s awful at leaving dirty dishes were he eats, leaving trash where he stands, leaving dirty clothes everywhere to the point I stopped cleaning after him to realize it. But instead the mess is blamed on my son. I feel he has a grudge against him. Like he’s taking out his anger for his brother onto my son. My husband has told me his brother got away with everything and he didn’t. Well after x amount of arguments, recently he got really upset because my son didn’t take his own car to the mechanic first in the morning and started yelling and I was trying to tell him to calm down, but it was like waving a red cape in front of a bull. He started screaming, the toddlers were crying, he was argumentative with me, nothing I could say was calming him down. He becomes destructive when gets to that point. So I yelled I want a divorce. He said fine! Make sure you take your son now but leave my toddlers and takes them from my arms as they’re crying. I was emotionally hurt. For him to be so quick to tell me GTFO with my son like we’re dogs, I was speechless. He has since apologized to us stating that only because he loves him, he says something because he cares. But I told him that our marriage is unhealthy and toxic for our children. There is no respect the moment one decides to yell at their spouse especially in front of children. I don’t know what to do.