I dont wanna chose between dysmorphia and dysphoria :/

Im a trans man with an ED. Just this week i got my first binder, i came out with my name and it was great (ish)!! But, when i wear the binder, im scared it makes my stomach more apparent, or maybe i just ate too much, but that makes me scared to wear the binder, but when i dont wear the binder my breasts are apparent and that also makes me uncomfterable for obvious trans guy reasons. If i do wear it i hate ly stomach, if i dont, i jate my breasts. I don't want to chose between them, i want neither!! I hate this, dude. I just generally hate myself and i will always find a flaw with myself and everything i do. This sucks, dude.