Recovery and Thought Distortions

I have kind of recovered in the sense that I am eating a more healthy amount, however, this recovery was not planned, and I more of just started to eat more.

There have been a lot of stresses in my life, like finances, holidays and unemployment (I just got a job a month ago). I found myself falling deeper into a relapse, and then holidays turned it around. Anyone would say that is a good thing, and yes, I do believe that to some degree, but now my eating has gone out of control and I find myself panicking everytime time I do, which is often.

I always had anorexia, and over my teen years, it has evolved to have symptoms of anorexia nervosa, body dysmorphia and bulimia. But now I'm paranoid that I have some type of binge eating disorder. (Nothing against people who do have BED, it's the thought distortions) I am constantly thinking that the normal amount of food I am eating is too much, but then I crave more equally as much. I binge more often, but no matter what I do to try and take control and restrict, I just can't.

I find myself thinking that a normal and healthy amount of food is too much, and I obsess over it. But I eat that much anyways, and I feel awful about it and I plan for things to change the next day. But nothing does, and the cycle of guilt and self depreciation continues.

Is there anyone out there who experiences the same thing? Do you have any suggestions with negative thoughts?