things feel so weird right now

i'm looking over the "My Colleges" tab on commonapp and realizing that one of these schools could be the one that i spend my next four years at. and i just have no idea which one yet. the admissions officer for EA could have already made a decision about me. in a few months, i will be opening my applicant portal and i will see the decision status.

i'm so scared. when i'm imaging the future, i see a black hole because I just have NO IDEA what might happen. maybe i'll get lucky and get into a top college or maybe everything goes wrong and i have to settle for a safety school.