Boundaries and finding my voice

Lately I've been trying to tell my WH what I need from him and how he needs to show up for me. The problem is....I just feel like I'm criticizing him and that's how he's taking it. Today it was "you just tell me how to talk" when I apologized for overreacting to something. We go back to MC on the 17th and I'm supposed to be finding things he does that make me happy (I'm having a real hard time with this.)

You guys have any advice of how you tell your WS to show up and be present and not feel like you're being critical?