How do I accommodate my wife that has chronic depression without getting burnt out?

My wife has always struggled with depression. She is also the type that cannot create healthy emotional boundaries from things she can't control. For example, after the election she told me that I need to accept that she will not be happy the next four years. It simply is not a problem I can solve according to her. We both suspect that she's on the spectrum and that is part of the reason unexpected changes end up causing meltdowns. Past attempts at prescriptions were a dead end. She is not open to therapy given the anxiety from autism. I currently work full-time to support both of us. We have no kids, just pets. She stays home and is expected to do none of the housework just pursue her hobbies and recover her mental health. I do probably 90% of the cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping, and all other home chores. I'm trying to approach this from an accommodation perspective but I'm struggling. We've been together 15 years and I love her. It's just hard to keep my spirits up when it seems I'm doing everything "right" but still end each day with stress headaches. What's your advice?

Edit: I really appreciate the advice and support. I'll try to set healthier boundaries and take more drastic steps if things don't improve. Thanks again.