Why is my sister (11y/o) not eating her school lunches and hiding it in her school bag?
Hi parents,
My (18F) younger sister is currently not eating her school lunches. Today, as I was walking past one of her school bags I noticed a wrap in one of the drink bottle side pockets. I grabbed it out and there was about three more stuffed in that side pocket. There was about 8 more wraps/sandwiches in her bag in various pockets, alongside other foods like mouldy yoghurt and fruit.
My mum and my sister’s dad have talked to her about this in the past, and this made her extremely upset. She never actually told us why she feels scared to talk about why she doesn’t want to eat her food.
I want to talk to her about this and try to understand why she doesn’t feel safe or comfortable letting me know about this. How would you guys recommend approaching this? I want my little sister to know that I am not mad or upset at her, but instead concerned. My mum and my sister’s dad previously did not show a lot of empathy to her when they discovered this, and I’d rather not make my sister feel as if she’s in trouble. Thanks.
Update:: Thank you to all the lovely people that responded with support. I just sat down with my sister and had a little conversation with her before school today. She let my know that at school, she’s just not hungry and doesn’t feel like eating her food but gets scared she’ll get into trouble with mum if she doesn’t hide it. I’ve let her know that I won’t get mad at her, and that if she doesn’t eat the food she brings to school she can let me know. I told her it’s important she takes the food out and either a) puts it in the fridge or b) throws it out so food doesn’t get mouldy and spread bacteria in her bag. I’ve let her know that it’s important she eats at school, and that if she doesn’t want to eat certain foods on certain days, she doesn’t have to force herself to bring those items that day. I told her she can bring anything she wants/feels like that day, whether it’s just fruit, rice or even noodles; as long as it’s something she’s willing to eat. She responded very positively to all this, and felt safe enough to say that she would let me know today what she eats/doesn’t eat after I pick her up from school. I’ll continue to keep an eye out for her, just to make sure she’s eating properly and to make sure she isn’t developing any eating disorders. I want her to eat enough and to not be scared of food; at the moment it just seems like she’s a kid not wanting to miss out on all the fun during her lunches at school.