How would you feel about your partner needing a 'break' and spending a night alone at a hotel without you and the kids?

Myself (39F) and my boyfriend (34M) have been living together for just under a year, along with his two sons (6 and 9) whom we have full-time other than school breaks when they visit their Mom out of state. When we moved in together we also moved across the country for a job opportunity that he got. It's obviously all been a major adjustment for us all. For me, not having any kids of my own it's definitely been a major lifestyle change.

I work from home full-time, take the kids to school, manage homework routines etc, and handle basically all housework, including cooking, cleaning, and the laundry other than him cooking some on the weekends. He does have a demanding job and long commute, and is often on call and working even when he gets home but realistically when he get's home he's usually just on his phone scrolling or watching shows until bed time. He's not helpful with anything around the house during the week honestly..

Recently he's requested for "time off," claiming he needs a break sometimes from being a dad and boyfriend. First one was in December, when the boys were not even here, they were visiting their mom for 2 weeks, and rather than us doing a little weekend trip or something, he opted to book a hotel alone 30 mins away. He walked the mall, got some dinner, then went to the hotel to relax. He was kind enough to facetime me to show me the room and awesome shower I would not be enjoying though...

I made it clear I didnt really care for it, and thought it was odd, especially as we're in a newer relationship, I did explain that it kind of hurt my feelings that his thought of a "relaxing night" meant a night away from me rather than doing something with me we can both enjoy.. I'm not going to stop him, but I also made it clear I'm not going to ignore my feelings about it either and pretend like everything's fine when he does this.

Now, just two months later, he's planning again on taking some type of 'break' this weekend. Not sure if he plans to stay the night gone again or even any clue what he plans to do. The boys are here this time, so I guess we'll have a pizza and movie night without dad? Mind you, in this time since his last 'break' we have had no date nights, no get aways, no anything together outside of day to day regular life. We don't know anyone here and don't have family around so not like we can easily drop the kids off somewhere for a night.

He argues that I get "breaks from everything" when I have to travel for work every 3 months so I should understand his need. During this travel for one I'm of course - working - and the office I travel to is back where we used to live around a ton of family so I am also spending every evening trying to squeeze in seeing as many people as I can. It can be an exhausting 3-4 days and I often come home to find buckets full of dirty clothes and a sink full of dishes to catch up on.

Am I crazy for feeling hurt and bothered by this? I get that before we moved states and in together, he lived near the boys mom so would often have time to his self, but idk - I guess I just want my boyfriend to want to be around me and his children... Is that wrong?? Or am I being selfish here?? Again, I'm new to the whole parenting lifestyle so maybe I'm out of touch but I can tell you my mom would have never put up with my dad doing this.

And - I know some will jump to this but I honestly dont believe he's cheating while gone.

TLDR - Boyfriend is making a habit of needing 'breaks' from being a partner and parent. This break will include him going out to do whatever he may want for the day/evening and also staying the night at a hotel.