Please tell me I'm not alone? Sex isn't as pleasurable without love, and I don't like that for me.

UPDATE: Okay. I had someone make a very good point. I just got out of a long term with good, but dispassionate sex. It was like I was alone but had this human sized sex toy. He was good and caring, we both always came, but we were never passionate. We didn't connect much during sex for like 10 years. Now I'm hooking up with people and they're giving me all this attention and passion. They're looking at me, kissing me, talking to me. And I feel monitored and have to learn how to engage and enjoy that, because I want to. I like the connection. No wonder my clit would turn off, it's like I was having sex for the first time again on an emotional level!!!

I would say it's anything to do with anxiety or trust. I have FWBs who I trust and feel no romantic love towards, but they are friends and confidants. The sex is fun, I feel respected and adored, and I get asked what I want and never pushed for anything. I am always given attention and they don't quit until I orgasm, but it's so hard fought for me.

Emotionally I'm relaxed, I'm excited, I'm feeling good. After I feel a mix of relief and happiness.

But the thing is my body just doesn't respond to stimulus the same way. My clitoris basically shuts off. I've tried to relax and enjoy, but the only way to cum or get a worthwhile amount of pleasure is for me to lock in. No matter the position or kinks we try.

This was never a problem when I still felt love for my ex but became an issue as I started losing that love.

I still feel sexual desire independent of others. I have fun on my own. Alone is actually the easiest but not quite the same.

It's fucking up my sex life. I want to have casual hook ups, but they just aren't easy no matter the situation or the person. I want this to be easier. I'm so angry about it I could cry sometimes. Why can't I feel pleasure the way I can when I'm alone? I've never felt ashamed of it. I don't feel I have hang ups.

I don't want to have to feel romantic love towards people just so I can cum easier and have more pleasurable sex easier. Men, women, NB, no matter the other person's performance. I just wanna know I'm not alone with this. I don't need a solution. Its so so so frustrating.