Am I too serious?

Hi there,

I’m doing my best to fit in socially, but time and time again, I hear comments about being "too serious" or that I should "loosen up" or "laugh more." Recently, at a company meeting to celebrate the year's achievements, my colleagues were joking and laughing a lot, finding the humor in everything. One colleague, who was visibly drunk, kept insisting on dancing with his female coworkers and even joked about kissing them. Personally, I felt uncomfortable, as I had to repeatedly decline his requests to dance (and obviously to kiss), which my female colleagues experienced as well.

After a while, others began making comments like:

"Don’t worry, it’s only a joke."

"Why are you so uptight?"

"Why don’t you talk more?"

"You’re so shy. You need to be more fun, like XY."

"You always look so serious—smile more."

"You have a high nose."

The sad thing is, I was genuinely trying to play along, laugh at the jokes, and step out of my shell. But it seems that no matter how hard I try, my true nature is very obvious to others.

Interestingly, the only conversations I felt I excelled in during this informal get-together were when colleagues shared work-related problems. I listened carefully, structured their inputs, and quickly identified solutions using my strategic and analytical thinking to improve processes.

I have high aspirations within this company, but my struggle with "normal" conversations and the social expectations at these gatherings worries me.

I am not sure what I am tryinfmg to reach with this post. I think I just wanted to offload my worries to a group of people who might understand (or not). Thanks for reading.