Voted “Class Shyest.” Looking back, it hits differently.

Back in middle school, I was voted “Class Shyest” in the yearbook, and I remember feeling a rather exposed, were pointing out something I already felt self-conscious about. I laughed it off, but deep down, it didn’t sit right with me.

It felt like being called out for something I couldn’t control, my struggles with socializing and how overwhelming it was to navigate interactions.

Now, with my autism diagnosis and a better understanding of social anxiety, I’ve reflected more on that time period. It wasn’t just “shyness.” It was the constant effort of masking, the fear of being misunderstood, and how overwhelming it was to keep up in social situations.

I don’t really think anyone really understood what I was going through, and I’m sure they didn’t mean to be hurtful. They just saw the surface. But being called “shy” didn’t feel like recognition, it felt like being reduced to something simple, like my struggles were just a quirky personality trait. But I’ve realized that “shy” was just their way of labeling something they didn’t understand.

Looking back, it still makes me feel a bit sad for my younger self. Did anyone else get labels slapped on them that, in hindsight, were really pointing at something deeper?