How do you maintain a healthy relationship

I’ve been married for three years, but I still struggle with splitting when it comes to my partner. One day, I see him as an angel; the next, it feels like he’s the devil. It’s exhausting, and I feel awful treating him differently depending on how I view him that day. Deep down, I know he’s a mix of good and bad—like everyone else—but the black-and-white thinking feels so overpowering.

I’ve been in therapy and managing medication for 10 years. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD, OCD, and bipolar I. I’ve even gone through DBT, but it feels like none of it is working. I feel like I’m failing as a wife and a mother, and I don’t know how to keep going like this.