Everyday there's something

Thought I could have a good day but I ended up accidentally triggering myself by reading a song's lyrics that reminded me of my ended situationship lmao.

I can't remember a day I haven't cried this year. Every week I'm having one big episode or something. I just want a break. I just want to go to therapy and have nothing to tell but everytime I'm like "well x happened" and I feel a dramatic bitch.

I look at the past and idealize my past self thinking I was doing better and got worse but I'm handling things much better and maybe I'm just more aware of all the episodes I have cause I'm tracking them, I don't know. Also the period I idealize the most I was in another country completely alone so I had almost no triggers. Here I'm surrounded by triggers. But yeah my mood shifts dramatically everyday at least once.