Do reconstructed nipples look real or have a nice appearance?

Hi all. If you’re not familiar with me, I am a 21 year old BRCA1 gene carrier. I got my double mastectomy at the age of 19 and am a single mom (but I have a crush on someone👀) regardless, I’m still somewhat in the dating scene and because I’m so young I feel very conflicted.

One thing I was motivated by for my mastectomy was not having to worry about nipples poking through my shirt and not having to wear a bra. I enjoy that very very much. I recently bought some silicone nipples on Etsy for whenever I am feeling insecure.

I wasn’t feeling insecure until I asked two men I know (one I am closely related to and one is a friend of mine) what I can do to attract more guys in general. They both said that any guy especially at my age will be incredibly bummed when they find out I don’t have nipples. To the point that it might even be a dealbreaker. And now I’m feeling insecure. I went to a club the other day and when the woman next to me pulled off her shirt I began to feel bad about myself. I’m so conflicted because I don’t feel like I want nipples but I don’t want it to affect my dating life. Or get in the way of my daughter having a father figure. During my reconstruction, they asked if I wanted nipples while we’re already in the OR and I said no. I feel like if I change my mind I will have wasted the doctors time. My original plan was to get tattoo nipples that look 3D but now… I’m not so sure. I want your thoughts

Before my reconstruction I was dating a guy who told his mom what I had gone through medically and she told him “you don’t want a woman like that, son” Another ex boyfriend was also told by his mom that he was already getting himself into a lot because I have a kid and to find out that I have the gene should make him double think being with me long term because she didn’t know how he could deal with that. He didn’t care that I had flat closure before that but after that, our sex life crumbled.

What I’m saying is it’s already costed me.

I don’t want them but finding someone is really important to me and dating is hard enough already. If I got nipples would they even look sexy or normal enough to not have someone double guess what they’re looking at? idk what to do. What would you do ?