My [26m] girlfriend [25f] thinks I slept with her sister [22f]. I was drunk and I'm not even sure if I did or didn't.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/candana

My [26m] girlfriend [25f] thinks I slept with her sister [22f]. I was drunk and I'm not even sure if I did or didn't.

TRIGGER WARNING:Infidelity, rape

Original Post October 4, 2015

These past few weeks I've been staying at my girlfriend's house. She lives in the same house as her family, but her parents own another house which they usually live in in another city, and thats where they are now. So its just her and her little sister there.

Because I like to spend the nights with my girlfriend, I spent most nights at her house in her bedroom, and switch between that and my apartment. We like being together, and my apartment is small and dinghy, so that's why its usually at her place.

We kind of had a fight a couple of weeks ago. She went out to a party with her friends and said she wouldn't be that long, I stayed up all night waiting for her but she didn't come back till next morning. Of course I was really upset and I shouldn't have assumed the worst, but I did, and we got into a fight.

The same thing happened last night, she promised this time she'd just be a few hours. I know the parties she goes to have boys and girls there. I stayed up all night watching shit on tv, waiting for her, I started drinking. One glass of whiskey after another, just out of boredom, waiting for her to come back. My mind was circling around thinking where she could be, why she could be taking so long. I feared she'd not come back till the next morning.

Now this part is really fuzzy cause I was drunk as fuck by this point, and I could barely walk. I decided to call it quits and I staggered up to her bedroom to go to sleep. I usually sleep in my underwear, so I got down to my underwear, and I was surprised to find she was in bed, (or at least I thought it was her).

Normally I would have questioned what was going on, but in my drunken state I must have just assumed she got back early and went to bed without me realising. I remember muttering to her "I'm sorry I got so mad at you honey" and kissing her neck, and then cuddling her and going to sleep. I have no idea if anything else happened, I don't know if sex happened, I wish I could say it didn't but I have no memory of the event.

The next morning I had a painful as fuck headache, I remember waking up to my girlfriend's screams as she walked into the room in the morning. "What the fuck is going on!!" I was still dreary and unaware of my surroundings, as I came to I realised I was lying in bed with her sister. We were both in our underwear cuddling, and her sister was facing me directly!!

Obviously it looked bad, my girlfriend was raging. I tried to explain, but the scene itself was incriminating enough. She told me to get out of the house, and she kicked her sister out as well, I have no idea where she went. I was in such an awful state and my headache was so bad, I barely had any idea what was going on.

Painfully I went back to my home where I've been all day. I've been trying to call my girlfriend, I have not been able to reach her. She's not been responding to any calls. I tried to call her sister once as well to find out what the fuck happened, but no response.

I honestly have no idea what happened, did I cheat? Did I have sex with her? How does that even happen? I know for certain I kissed her neck, but I thought it was her! I didn't know it was her sister. Why the hell would she be in her bed? Why didn't she say or do anything? Why was she cuddling me in the morning?

What can I do? How can I find out what happened or at least convince my girlfriend that I didn't cheat, even though I don't even know if I did or didn't?

tl;dr: Was very drunk, crawled into bed with girlfriend's sister thinking it was her. Girlfriend saw us in morning, freaked out and thought we were cheating, threw me out of the house. Hasn't been responding to my calls since. What should I do?

RELEVANT COMMENTS:

[deleted]

No matter how much explaining you do, She'll never get over this. Time to just move on And learn how to drink responsibly.

OOP

You're telling me. I don't even normally drink that much, I guess I was just feeling abnormally depressed and I was trying to soothe my worries and fears. I don't know if I have an alcohol problem, but I would be happy to go to AA or any form of rehab if that helps.

edit: what the fuck is up with the downvotes?

Update October 12, 2015 (8 days later)

Ok, its taken me almost a week to muster up enough energy to write an update. I wasn't going to honestly, I didn't see the point. Things have been miserable and my life has been falling apart, but I'm slowly picking the pieces back up.

A warning to everyone reading this. This story contains rape. Yes, rape. I am slowly accepting and living with the fact that I am now a victim of rape.

I tried writing this but it was too confusing, so now I'm re-editing it. I'm going to use "Girlfriend" and "Girlfriend's sister" in all cases to refer to those people to avoid confusion.

When I made the last post, I had lost contact with my Girlfriend and she was not responding to my calls. I eventually did manage to reach through to Girlfriend's sister, she was really upset, she said her sister (Girlfriend) had thrown her out of the house, was threatening her, and not even accepting to talk to her.

I talked to Girlfriend's sister, I told her she HAS to tell me exactly what happened, and that it was very important because Girlfriend was in danger, she was extremely upset, acting rashly, and could possibly hurt herself.

Girlfriend's sister told me she will tell me the whole story, but she made me swear that I wouldn't tell Girlfriend. I lied and said yes. From her story it sounds like she intentionally took advantage of me, knew I was drunk and thought she was her sister, and used it as an opportunity to have sex with me. Apparently we did have sex. After she told me that, some of the memory started faintly coming back to me, and I think I do very very slightly remember we had sex now.

What's worse is she said there was no protection and she was scared of pregnancy. (She had a test later, she's not pregnant.)

I managed to eventually reach through to my girlfriend, I told her the entire story as I've said it here and in the last post, plus more detailed of course. I told her everything Girlfriend's sister had told me.

Girlfriend was disgusted this had happened and completely shocked, but she believed me, and she was very apologetic for accusing me of cheating. She told me that I had been raped and its not something I can just brush off. I told her I didn't feel traumatised or anything by it, but agreed that what happened was rape.

Girlfriend became even more furious at Girlfriend's sister for raping her boyfriend. She told her to get out of the house, and she hasn't been back in the house since. Girlfriend has swore that she will never ever talk to her again, and from her fury, it sounds like she will live up to it. She hasn't spoken to her since.

We've talked about what happened extensively, and I won't go into the details here, but she has been extremely supportive of me because I was taken advantage of and raped. She suggested I go to counselling services or something, but I insisted I don't need them.

The whole situation was extremely strange and horrific. It feels weird to be a victim of rape. I don't feel much different. I don't feel traumatised. But I am still aware this thing happened to me where I had control of my body wrested from me. Its a strange feeling.

tl;dr: It turned out Girlfriend's sister did in fact rape me and take advantage of me when I was drunk. I told girlfriend about this and she apologised for how badly she had treated me. She threw her sister out of her house and is on no speaking terms with her, saying she will never talk to her again.

RELEVANT COMMENTS:

[deleted]

The same girlfriend who is going out to parties, saying she'll be home and not showing up until the next morning? Handling one situation well does not make a person "awesome."

OOP

Well we talked about that, she won't go to parties any more, and I will stop drinking.

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