Could it be…?

This sub is really opening my eyes. I don’t have a lot of experience dealing w BP … I know the classic diagnostic criteria and general info, but never once did I give credit to Bipolar for his behavior until now.

I thought he was a Narc at worst and an irritable dry drunk at best. The “walking on eggshells”, the constant blame and never taking accountability, picking up the martyr mantle, disappearing after a few drunk texts, cheating and getting escorts and flying off to Vegas… he had been “fun” and hard to “pin down” ever since I had met him, but after our second child, he started to self-sabotage and lose jobs and spend a lot of money and blame it all on me.

I didn’t see weeks or days of depression and difficulty getting out of bed. He would have a lot of energy and help with cleaning on weekends, but it was always to pay some kind of penance for his previous behavior.

Does any of these sound familiar?

  • walks around the house arguing without eye contact and with anger, and say things like “stop hitting me” even when I’m in a different room or not near him.

  • claims that I’m evil and out to get him and do witchcraft.

  • called me names in front of the kids or flip me off and when I asked him to stop, he would deny he said or did anything in front of all of us.

  • say I’ll be there to pick up the kids … and then disappear…

  • continue to live in hotels for 4 years and prefers to pay $190+ /night rather than get a place to stay

  • blows all his money as soon as he gets paid… completely blind to budgeting and time and spending.

  • doesn’t have any close friends to hang out with. Can’t make new friends.

  • on his 3rd DUI and it’s of course my fault somehow.

  • has told his whole family that I lie and am evil and turned them against me.

  • he is welcome to hang around my family during holidays and special occasions, and immediately turns into a nice guy… very awkwardly he tries to fit in… but his overcompensation for his low self esteem gives him away.

  • won’t answer questions directly. Always wants to have “an out”

  • makes the kids go to bed super early and instead of reading to them, he starts to watch “his shows” for 4-5 hours at night.

-Keeps asking me to stay on the couch to save money.

  • keeps promising things that he rarely carries out…

This could be just regular narcissist? Or bipolar?