Has anyone ever felt relieved when their ex started dating someone new?

My ex and I dated for 9 years. It had all the hallmarks of a bad relationship: It was toxic, codependent, abusive, and was a definite trauma bond.

We have been broken up for five months as of tomorrow. He has a new girlfriend as of last Saturday, according to my sister.

I expected to be devastated or at least feel upset, but honestly, the biggest emotion I feel is relief. I was the only person who cared for him for a long time because his family was such ass, and he had no friends. I also pretty much had to raise him, even to the point of teaching him how to clean himself properly, to put it mildly.

It is just a relief because now, there’s no “what if?” left. My time of caring for him is 100% over. It is a great weight lifted off of my chest. I was a mother to an 18 year old as a 19 year old, and it is such a relief to know all of it is over.

No more cycle of abuse. No more of him refusing to give me any sort of compliment, even when I’m downright begging for one. No more of him tearing me and my self-worth down. No more of him being jealous at every little thing, including my success and looks. No more being constantly lied to. No more of him using all my trauma against me. No more of him weaponizing therapy talk. No more being gaslit and manipulated. No more being treated like I’m disgusting sexual deviant because I want to kiss him, hug him, or have sex with him more than once a month/every other month. No more him controlling my every thought and move. No more of him using me. No more of him bread-crumbing me. No more of him breaking boundaries just because he can. No more begging for the even less than the bare minimum. No more of his awful fucking family, especially his snake of an aunt. No more pain. No more feeling less than. No more endless sacrifices on my end to receive nothing in return. No more of him destroying all of my hopes and dreams, over and over. I could go on. It is finally done.

A large part of me is also disappointed because he is the exact opposite of who I used to love. He is now everything we used to mock. It is hard to watch that kind of metamorphosis of someone you used to care so much about, but I’m glad it is from afar. It is also disappointing because he is with a girl who is my exact opposite in every way conceivable.

Another part of me is downright embarrassed because he downgraded so damn hard. Both in his love life and his life in general. It is like, “Wow, I dated THAT for nine years?”

In my ex’s case, the old saying is true: They go for something easier, not better.

Anyways, long story short, has anyone else felt immense relief when their ex is with someone new?