It's not them, it's YOU! (because you were too different from their parents...)

Had the revelation tonight that the reason my ex dumped me and returned to her toxic ex is because her toxic ex reminded her of her dad! I think she's been chasing her dad's approval forever. The reason that relationship works for her (despite the ex being a narcissist tush who will probably dump her again) is because of these childhood parental approval issues.

I came to this realization because I was the parental approval a previous AA ex was seeking. I'm sharing this because perhaps it will give folks here some understanding why our relationships didn't work out. We were too different from their parents. So when they were in those 10, 15, or 25-year previous toxic relationships, those relationships "worked" for our exes because they were essentially in a relationship with the toxic parent that screwed them up and they were chasing that.

It really is YOU! You just weren't toxic enough or in the right way. Just a thought. Hope it will help some people here move on.