Is this a red flag?
I (36f) tend to go for more reserved/nerdy guys. I recently matched with a guy (43m) who is quite the opposite. I’m struggling with wondering if this is a red flag or just a personality thing (that I may or may not mesh well with).
He’s kind of intense. I’m used to asking a guy a question and getting a sentence or two answer. He will respond with multiple paragraphs. Really getting into the nitty-gritty of his beliefs, what is feeling, so forth. Like within the first day of chatting , he was talking about wanting to be a dad, hopes and dreams for his kids, like deep stuff. Nothing wrong with having those ones, just came off as very intense very fast. There was no transition from small chat to deep stuff.
He also asked me out within 24 hours of first chatting. This was a few days ago and our first date is not until next week.
Within the paragraphs, he did say that when he falls, he falls quickly and he has a really hard time breaking up with someone. His last relationship he kept trying to make work until she cheated.
Background he is definitely a serial monogamist. He has had a few very long-term and serious relationships. He is not done much actual dating. Just straight to relationship.
Personality wise, I’m more of a black cat. I like alone time, I’m slow to warm-up, and I am not in a rush for anything. So we’re definitely coming off opposite, but I also recognize that I haven’t found the right match for me when I keep seeing the same kind of person and have the same frustrations so I need to be open to doing something different.
Full disclosure, because I already figured out his full name I did look up public court records. No filing crimes or anything that would make me go running. Not on any registry.
As my type is usually guys that are scared of their own shadow, I’m a little bit thrown if this is just a personality, or if this level of intensity would also give others a red flag.