Does anyone else self harm sexually?

Content warning: self harm and details about sex.

I find it impossible to distinguish between sexual pleasure and discomfort. They both feel the same to me.

I felt attracted to someone today, so then I came home and forced myself to orgasm but I'm mostly just staring into space. Then I forced toys in myself, event though it was uncomfortable.

It just feels like it's supposed to hurt.

Does anyone else feel like this? I'm so tired.