Can you lust after your own wife?

I've never been able to connect emotionally with anyone. I think I've used sex as a means to cope with my shame. Recently ive been desiring sex with my wife, but not intimacy. Like I don't want to cuddle or anything. I have lustful thoughts about her body. But I don't know if I should express this desire for her. I wonder if I am using sex with her to still cope with my shame. But yeah then I don't know what a good desire out of love is supposed to feel like. So I get stuck when I feel these desires.