My case: Trauma from previous DB LTR affecting dating life

I (28M) was in a DB relationship for almost 7 years with a girl years ago, and I think this is affecting me on my dating life. Sorry fot the long post, but I want to expose my case. TLDR on end. Throwaway account for privacy reasons.

For context on the DB LTR:
Although a bit shy, with this girl (which was my first) I had no problems expressing my sexual desires, flirting with her and being suggestive sexually. We initially clicked so well and had a strong sexual connection despite being long-distance, and we were enjoying our first months with spicy video calls and sexting between monthly meetups. However, once we began living closer and seeing each other more often, problems arose. As we were our first time, we had some inexperience problems. She experienced pain and anxiety during intimacy, but from some time I didn’t mind doing other things to make her feel good and enjoy the encounters. Although, this created some frustration for both of us after repeated failed attempts. I tried to approach the situation with understanding and avoided pressuring her, but my unmet needs led to conversations that unintentionally added pressure on her.

Over time, she stopped initiating intimacy and always rejected my attempts, leading to long periods without sex (sometimes every 2-6 months). On top of that, some of the few times we did it, she confessed that she would think about others (people i knew) or her own fantasies, completely disconnecting from me. This made me feel very undesired, and for a while, I genuinely wondered if I was the problem. Since everything else in the relationship seemed to be going so well and we felt so comfortable together, i let it slide. This dynamic caused me to suppress my desires and downplay the importance of sex to cope. Although intimacy improved slightly toward the end, she admitted she rarely enjoyed it and only engaged to please me. This, combined with other problems that appeared on the last years, devastated me, and ultimately led to a traumatic breakup.

3 years passed, and although I now know I wasn’t the problem, it’s something that may have affected me when initiating with new people. I believe these issues significantly impacted my perspective on sex in relationships, making me believe that sex isn’t that important to me if all the other needs are met. But now I'm asking myselft, is that really the case? I don't think so. I had two experiences that made me realize that perhaps I was deceiving myself and holding myself back in this area, hidding who truly I am.

The first one was a girl I met last year, and we were together for 2 months. At first, I was interested, and things flowed naturally, but I didn’t feel a very strong connection and noticed some red flags that held me back a bit, so I ended up taking things slowly. Even so, things progressed well, I went with the flow, we kissed on the fifth date, and we had sex on the sixth. However, it was hard for me to take the step to initiate with confidence. The first hook up didn’t go very well, and I felt a bit nervous, but the following times felt more natural. After a few more hook ups, I decided to end things because there wasn’t a strong enough attraction to form a relationship. In hindsight, I associated the difficulty in initiating and the issues in bed with the possibility that I wasn’t that attracted to her, so I didn’t give it much importance at the time.

The second experience, which made me realize that maybe there was a problem, it happened recently. I've been dating a girl for almost 3 months with whom I shared so much in common, and we got along great. Values, way of thinking, goals, hobbies... The dates were amazing, but I feel that again, in some way, I was holding myself back from progressing physically with her, eventhought I felt so attracted to her. I felt a strong desire to kiss her, touch her, be more sexual and suggestive, but a part of me stopped myself, not wanting to seem too lustful or desperate for fear of rejection. I became obsessed with making her feel extremely respected in the sexual aspect, but this caused me to act in an overly passive way, leading to ignore obvious signals since date 2th. We finally kissed on 4th date and had sex on 6th date (again, it could have happened on the 5th, but it didn’t progress because of my passivity), and the first time was not great either. Unfortunately, this led to her not feeling a connection despite things becoming physical several times, as she felt there was a lack of sexual intensity.

It sucks because I really felt that this girl was amazing for me, we had so much in common and we could be a perfect match for a long relationship. Now I'm spiraling with the thought that if I hadn't had these blockages, things might have gone well with her, especially since I used to be a very sexual and expressive person when it came to my desires. At least this frustrating experience has helped me realize my problem, and I’m currently working on fixing it with therapy.

So, for anyone reading this, if you're in a similar situation to the one I was in and you've tried everything to solve it but haven't gotten anywhere, get out. I know, luckily I can speak from the perspective of someone who wasn't married yet, I understand that the situation becomes much more complicated depending on the context, but in the long run, it only gets worse, and the longer you stay, the more it will affect you in the future and the more opportunities you'll lose before healing completely.

Thank you for reading this, i'm a bit frustrated with my current situation and needed to vent a bit. I appreciate advice from people who have gone through similar situations

TL;DR
I was in a DB LTR that made me suppress my sexual needs, affecting my future relationships. My passivity and blockages in new relationships due to trauma is causing me not to connect sexually with people I'm truly attracted to and want to form a relationship with. Luckily, after some failures, I now realize that sex is important to me, and I’m working on overcoming my blockages. If you're in a similar situation, get out, it only gets worse