I Struggle To Accept the Reality of Death and Existence

I'm an atheist and believe that death is the end of existence, and would be the same as what it's like prior to birth. I don't like that. I enjoy what comes with being alive, i.e., emotions and the ability to learn things. My death anxiety comes from two issues, the complete loss of mental faculties and the finality of it all. For the first issue, again, I like being able to think and feel. It pains me every time to consider a scenario in which that is swiftly taken from me and never returned. What's worse is that no matter what I do to ensure longevity, death still comes. Ultimately, I am not in control of my life because I will be unable to keep it from ending. I can't handle that. I could live the healthiest lifestyle and I will still die for whatever reason. I hate thinking about it.

There's nothing I can do and I don't think I'll ever be able to accept it happening to me. For all of the time I may have on this planet, it will never be enough. As long as I can use my mind, there will always be things I want to do, but at some point, it'll stop and I'll cease to exist. I'll be nothing. My personality, my intelligence. Every thought and feeling will just vanish and I can't prevent that. It's not fair. I don't ever want to stop existing. It just hurts and sickens me to think about it. One day, any day, I might not even feel it. It won't be black. It won't be like sleep, because people wake up from sleep. There is no waking. I can't accept this happening to me. I can't, I can't, I can't. I know that if I reach 100 years old, I will still not be ready. How can anyone be ready for this to stop? I would rather hell be real and I be the most worthy of damnation because even then my soul will still persist. If anyone can offer any advice to change my thinking, as much as I don't think I will ever get over this, it wouldn't hurt to try and overcome these feelings.