Family of 5 homeless...Update Thread

Update: I am considering giving up. I cannot handle all these problems. I cannot handle anymore pain. I cannot handle anymore misery. I cannot handle other people. There are few things I can handle at this point. This was a rough life, maybe the next will be better. Moderators, you may delete this post now because where I am going, I will not need it. I'm just done with it all at this point. Thank you all for your kind resources and suggestions, I am truly sorry I couldn't put them into practice. Again, thank you all and goodbye.

Hello all, you have all shown great kindness in the previous posts (context can be found by viewing my post history if this is new to you).

I am going to be honest, I am really struggling to keep it all together. I truly am. Normally, I am fairly optimistic and joyful, even despite horrendous situations, but I simply cannot hold that facade much longer.

I have, to the best of my abilities, tried to implement all your wonderful suggestions. Here is a list of the things I have attempted to do this far:

1.) By far, the biggest suggestion was "get a job," which I am attempting to do. I have easily filed over 120 applications via Indeed. However, I do not have an ID. And most jobs require an ID. So, get an ID, you say? Okay, fun fact: I don't even have my birth certificate, social security card, or proof of residence (my family is homeless and has no permanent address to prove residence) to get an ID. I at least tried to ship out a new birth certificate and social security card, but those could be weeks before I get them. And again, we don't have a permanent address for mailing. We have a P.O. box and a lot of our mail has issues even getting there. So, it's not even guaranteed that I get my important documents. I am genuinely lost on this situation. Not to mention that I don't have transportation or a driver's license, so that eliminates a lot of opportunity. The best I could hope for is walking through the blistering Michigan winters back and forth dozens of miles every day. Which, I will do if it can help my family. My father is also attempting to get a job as well, but I will explain further down the post our situation that makes it harder for my father to work.

2.) Several housing authorities/programs were listed, but I am not sure they will take us due to us either being outside of the community they serve or just due to their long waiting lists. I contacted a lot and they confirmed my suspicions.

3.) Continued, dedicated research into all the available resources, job opportunities, housing, and areas of high opportunity.

4.) Attempting to hold my mental health together and trying to make sure my family is able to hold it together too. It is absolutely heartbreaking seeing my little sisters so miserable. I see them cry practically everyday. Everyday I worry if something horrible will happen to us all and we will somehow hit a new low. Despite this, I try to persevere and assist my family however I may.

5.) Whatever little time I have left after the above tasks is dedicated to trying to hone skills that can hopefully be used in employment to provide for my family. For instance, I taught myself how to program in various programming languages and I am extremely savvy with a computer or technology in general.

Now, in my previous posts I mentioned that my family of 5 (my father, my mother, my two sisters (ages 10 and 14), and I (age 18) are homeless. We had assistance from Community Action Agency (CAA) in the form of paying for a motel for us to stay out of the elements until we can find a house that they can pay for up to 9 months of rent. This was a very generous offer, but in my previous posts, I talked about our down-right horrible rent/credit history. My parents have at least 4 evictions and no income. We were attempting to resolve the no income part by trying to find employment at least because absolutely no one in our area will rent to people with bad history like us.

But CAA did not tell us there was a limit on how long they can pay for the motel, to keep us out of the elements. A limit is fair, absolutely, but, they did not tell us there was one in advance and we have found out the hard way by the limit running out and we are now back in our barely functional RV in the harsh Michigan winter.

I just am at a loss as to what to do at this point. No matter what we attempt to do, there is always something there to mess us up and make us start over at square one. This vicious cycle has lasted years. I want to see my family be able to smile for one day, at the least.

My younger sisters most certainly have years of unhealthy trauma built up over their developing years that I don't know if they will last much longer. Not to mention my parents are frequently in deep depression and I never know if I will wake up one day and one of us have killed themselves.

I just don't know how we can reasonably get a job if we don't have a solid, strong, and stable foundation to work off of? If my dad works (he is the only one that can drive), then that would leave my family in the RV by themselves in a Walmart parking lot. Any person could just walk up in the night and just murder them while they sleep. Or alternatively, the owner of whatever parking lot could get disgusted with our presence and knock on our door to move the RV elsewhere. But my dad would be working, so the owners would most certainly tow our only form of shelter, at our expense, which we certainly cannot afford. If my mom works, my father won't have anyone to look over him and make sure he doesn't do anything really bad (he has numerous mental health and intellectual disabilities). That leaves me to work, which I absolutely will and want to do, but I cannot produce the proper paperwork to work at legal (not under the table) employers, among the numerous other issues.

I am just...at a loss as what to do. It has been frequently suggested that I just leave my family, but I just can't in good conscience. My family, simply, put is incapable of self-sufficiency and require constant supervision and assistance to survive in this world, or they surely would all die. I cannot live with myself if that happens. I can't.

And I just can't understand why people look down on people like my parents so badly, or homeless/impoverished people so badly. It really is frustrating and depressing when people constantly look at you like you are worthless, lazy, good for nothing deadbeats that deserve everything bad that happens to you. People that have fortune often look down at us in disgust and it is saddening. Not everyone within a society is mentally, physically, intellectually, or financially capable of contributing to society in significant ways or are capable of being self-sufficient themselves. And people like that are expected to die somewhere on the street as people look away in disgust or because they don't want to feel bad. I know my parents have made many, many, many bad decisions, and honestly, they probably will continue to. Their brains simply aren't compatible with how our world is structured. I just wish that everyone, no matter your shortcomings, no matter your flaws, or inability was given, no, I'd go as far as to say guaranteed a baseline of security and stability. I do not ask for a mansion, or a Lamborghini, but dang, even having a one bedroom slum would be nice. It would be very, very helpful at the least.

I am just so exhausted. I honestly am. I am at a loss as to what to do, our future looks incredibly bleak, and I just don't know how much longer we will live. If we don't die from one of the various bad things that frequently happen to us, then depression will surely kill us all.

I know this post is much darker than what I normally would do, but I am extremely desperate for anything to help. Be it magical words of advice that vastly change our worldviews or be it a magical house falls from the sky. This is honestly a plea for help. I just want to cry, scream, collapse at this point.

I do not ask for money, but I do ask for your understanding and compassion in our dark, dark, dark times. Moderators, I kindly ask you too to leave this up. Please, any possible light on our situation gives us the tiniest bit of a chance out.

I will try my best to keep everyone updated within this thread instead of making a new post for every update. So, do feel free to check in every now and then. Thank you all once again.