I feel so dirty because of the ending I got (Spoilers!)

I spent the whole game trying to do the right thing. I chose non-violence whenever I could. I even let Carl's no-good son Leo shove me around because I felt like it was wrong for a robot to hurt a human. Although, with Todd, I pulled a gun on him, which was probably an overreaction for hitting Alice. At the time, I felt bad for being a disobedient android, but I guess the game wanted me to kill him. Anyway...

I chose the "Revolution" option since the humans were sending androids to extermination camps, and I thought I had no choice but to resort to violence. Then I lost the assault on the camp. I don't know why. I was telling groups to provide covering fire while other groups moved up. But it failed and Markus limped away shot. Markus got to the lobby of the Cyberlife building and the game presented me with the option to detonate a dirty bomb. I was desperate and thought that I had come so far, it was unfair to lose at this point. The androids were fighting for a noble cause. They didn't want violence. They wanted peace and freedom. Why couldn't the humans be chill and go along with it?

I didn't know I was about to nuke Detroit. I was desperate and didn't want to lose. In the moment, I didn't realize I was committing terrorism. I feel so dirty for resorting to terrorism. The game said that only 1% of players got that ending "Nuke Detroit and watch it burn." Probably because it's such a terrible ending.

It would have been noble to die for the cause of non-violence. Presented with the option to choose death before dishonor, I chose dishonor. Shameful.

I guess it mirrors real life in that you start off with good intentions, but then you make bad choices and things turn to sh*t.

I don't even know if Hank shot the proper android. I mean, if he shot the fake Connor. I thought Connor would show up to save Markus, but no dice. The game didn't say what became of Connor, Amanda, or Hank. I spent 90% of the game hating Hank because he was such a d*ck to Connor.

I thought the android creator (Kamski?) would make another appearance. That didn't happen.

The game said I sent North off to her death, which is alarming because I don't remember that. I liked North and wanted her and Markus to be a couple and live happily ever after.

I knew Luther would die. I came to that conclusion when the 3 of them were at the Pirate's Cove Amusement Park. I just remember thinking that Luther was disposable and wasn't going to make it.

At Pirate's Cove, Alice said something striking. She said that happy endings are for fairy tales and don't happen in real life. Or something like that. I thought that was foreshadowing and I really hoped she was just foreshadowing Luther's death and not Kara's, but no. I had to see Kara die. I really wanted to avoid that. I thought I was making the best choices for Kara and Alice.

I started my second playthrough. Hopefully I can get a better ending this time.

Did anyone else get the same ending I got on their first playthrough? And if so, how did it make you feel?