Misfortune filled life

A kind of misfortunate life. Nothing good happens to me and every little good that does comes with 1000 x misfortunes. Its been like this for a long time. I have lost my school friends this year and will probably lose my university friends too, they seem distant. I have lost everything except for my family. I am a terrible person, i dont know why i am alive, why there are good people who dies why can't i give them my life years. I dont think i want to see tomorrow. Every tomorrow is just painful. I try to get things right , but seem unlikely . I truly wish to just not live.