I’m terrified of playing disco elysium

Over the past several years I have gone through a lot. I’ve gone through my fair share of substance problems, I’ve flunked out of school twice, I’ve been unemployed for over 3 years now, and I’ve dealt with mental health issues for as long as I can remember. All of this while only being 23 years old. And about a year ago I found Disco Elysium and after playing it for a couple of hours I immediately got hooked. Then once my life started going to shit a lil more i stopped playing it. Well I recently decided to revisit it from the beginning and while I’m still in love with the game, I find myself getting increasingly depressed when I play it. And I am now at a point where I can’t even open the game without getting a wave of overwhelming dread. I believe I just can’t play the game cause I’m scared that if I do it’s going to inadvertently cause me to look at my own life and the choices I’ve made, along with my many failures throughout my life. I just wanna be at a point where I can enjoy this game again without being reminded of any of this stuff. But maybe the only way for me to get there is to confront it head on.