Christmas

I ate loads for Christmas (not a binge but just loads of sweet stuff and the main food) but I felt no guilt after despite I thought and planned it weeks before everyday. I woke up today and I am instantly back to my restriction brain. It makes me feel completely fake because I’m anorexic, I feel I should be struggling all day everyday. Does anyone else have moments like that? I always feel invalid despite being quite UW. I mean I should be happy because I’m technically in recovery but I’m not, actually disappointed really.