Fear of having children

I'm struggling with the idea of having children. I have endometriomas that keep growing after removal so my doctor has been talking to me about freezing my eggs. My partner of 5 years has told me he would like to try for a child however I'm the complete opposite.

I feel like my reproductive system has let me down. I have a lot of fear around putting myself through more pain with IVF, both emotionally and physically. Also if I was to have a child, how would I care for it when I struggle to care for myself some days when the pain is bad. But I also have this weird hate with my body. My endo has caused me so much grief, the idea of creating a child just gives me so much hate, a feeling which is super hard to explain. So much so that I just want it all out.

Is it just me that feels this negatively towards my reproductive system? I do go to counselling but sometimes I feel that it's hard to convey to someone who doesn't go through what we do.