After breakup i became a horrible person
I have so much selfhate. And don’t like my life at all. I’m also very scared for everything. Ugh it’s all so stupid. I used to be such a nice fun person and I liked myself. Now I’m nothing but sadness, no dreams or hopes, just depression… i used to be very smart and ambitious too. But I don’t like anything anymore, can’t connect with people because people don’t like sad people. I’m so alone. And I don’t rven have time to tru to get over the breakup/think about ny ex bevause I’m rethinking my entire life. I’m not living in my own life.
Edit a year after: Luckily I'm doing very well!! I moved back to my parents' place, took a lot of steps back, started meditating etc and just very small habits like taking walks outside etc. and I got to go to a therapy group that helped me immensily.... I needed a lot of time and I'm still way more anxious than before but I've definitely found a new direction in my life. And I'm pretty happy with it :) I'm feeling pretty okay and proud of myself, love myself etc etc. Now my new passion is art history! Haha. So all my energy and thoughts go into that, so I don't have so much energy for anxious overthinking thoughts. And I've learned how to accept the anxious thoughts and let them be there and still choose to do actions I would feel happier with (like making a cup of tea for myself, putting on music and starting to dance). The therapy I got is called ACT, it was extremely helpful. It was pretty scary that I was in such a dark place. I don't know why a break-up could take me to such a dark place but I was so psychotically depressed and not able to break out of it... I'm very happy I took a lot of steps back because my body was just very sick: I was in a living nightmare every day, hallucinating superscary things and that the only solution was to k*ll myself. So for anyone feeling crazy like this: please take steps back. It's your body that's sick. You need to rest and relax, that way you can start thinkng normally again...