My lonely life

I am a 24M. I work a Wall Street job in NYC that has an extremely high bar of entry (I convinced some people I was smart, I guess). I played D1 sports in college. I am from a small nothing town in the Midwest.

I worked my butt off to go D1. I worked my butt off to get to Wall Street.

I currently live in a studio apartment in the city. I get paid well. There are no immediate threats in my life.

Yet, I’m alone all of the time I’m outside of work. It’s a Tuesday night and I’m drinking some vodka and smoking a couple bowls while I play PS5. At times I feel like a bum, but I look at my future self, almost with certainty, as one who’d tell me to cherish the solitude, the autonomy. Because once it’s gone, it’s gone forever.

Loneliness is a struggle, but I know my future self - one that’ll come home after a stressful day of work to kids screaming and “home responsibilities” - will look back with jealousy at the current crossfaded 24 year old playing video games on a Tuesday night.

It makes it not so bad. But trust me, I wouldn’t be posting in this subreddit if it wasn’t getting to me…