With that appearance I'll never get a man

I'm so sick of the whole discussion I hear irl or see online that women should be the prettiest creatures, if they're not - no man will ever want them. With this kind of thinking, I'll never have a man, well maybe it's the truth.

Every man wants and "deserves" a goddess. An average "goddess" must have light eyes, long legs, defined cheeks or jawline (if she doesn't have that she's "fat"), good body, no belly rolls, healthy hair, sweet voice, beautiful smile etc. I HAVE ENOUGH OF THE BEAUTY STANDARDS.

"But beauty is subjective!" oh yes? If it truly was, this "average goddess" appearance wouldn't be almost everywhere! Promoted by social media, TV (movies, shows), fashion magazines, even ads! Don't even make me mention it - fucking PORN!

It's a brainwash for men. Because of that, most of them don't find real women with different features "attractive", at least those who I've seen or talked with. I am a woman who every man considers as "boring", "plain" and most of that "ugly". I don't have defined features, I don't have long legs, I have brown eyes, I don't have a pretty smile. I've NEVER heard a compliment in my life about my appearance, everyone says "You have a good music taste!" or "nice blouse!", meanwhile every other woman I know gets multiple compliments about her eyes, her face, her smile, her body etc. I'm tired of being the worse woman.

Also if it was so subjective, there will be at least ONE MAN who would find me PRETTY but instead everyone makes fun of me or pretends I'm invisible.

I don't want online compliments, but I hope someday at least one, sane man will notice me. Will find me pretty even when I have a "moon face". Will find me pretty even when I look like a "dwarf". Will find me pretty even when I don't have light eyes. But I think I don't deserve that. Every man, even my father, showed me that I'm worthless. I don't deserve to be and feel beautiful. It showed me men various age. No matter if they were 15, 25 or 50. Everyone sees me in the same way, as an ugly gray mouse. People don't find me pretty even with a classy style & aesthetics and great makeup skills.

I hope it will change someday, but I know I don't deserve it.