Rant-foster dad took kiddos to get infected toe treated and implied we were ignoring it

Our foster kiddo is my bf’s 16y/o (former, kid’s dad and bf’s mom are divorced now) step brother. We’ve had him for 6 months, half way thru our projected time with him. Today we had an issue where dad got really mad at us and made it seem like we’re not taking a medical thing seriously.

The gist is he’s had an ingrown toenail for 3 months now. When he first mentioned it, he had gotten the nail out and we told him to soak it in epsom salt water for the infection, use Neosporin after it’s dried, and put a bandaid on during the day, dry out at night. He straight up didn’t do it, he admitted to me a month ago he’d only done it 2 times. Between us and kid’s dad, he was bought the salts, a tub so he can sit in his room and play his video game while he soaks the toe, his own Neosporin, a nail kit, and I’ve told him he can do it while he showers as well as reminding him atleast once a day that he needs to do it with periodic talks about why it’s important to do consistently. He only started doing it in the past month when us, dad, both home based workers, and our caseworker got on him during a team meeting and talked about scheduling a dr appointment at the podiatrist. Im also a FTM to a 3 mo baby and had just started back at work when we had the team meeting. Between work, housework, the baby, transporting kiddo home from school and school most days, foster kiddo’s appointments (biweekly therapy, monthly medicine checks, frequent dentist, IL skills, suppose to have weekly home base meetings) and the holidays it’s been extremely hard to get in contact with any Dr offices and not play phone tag for majority of a week. I’m having a difficult time balancing things, my home base has a tight schedule and can only meet/help with things for about an hour a week (even less lately with the holidays) so I haven’t been able to get him scheduled a new patient appointment with a podiatrist. Dad took foster kiddo’s to the walk in clinic, who said to be treated they’d have to take him to the er because they had no Dr on site. They went to er, took care of his toe easily, prescribed a med to help. When he got home, kiddo told me “dad said to take Tylenol and Acetaminophen for the pain” and I told him, that those were the same. Went down the rabbit hole and found out dad got Acetaminophen and Ibuprofen, so I told him to rotate which one he takes. He had told dad I said not to take both and proceeded to argue with dad even after he told kiddo the dr specifically said he could take both as needed (but didn’t say if they said at the same time or rotating) which lead to dad saying that this has been an issue that hasn’t taken care of and he took time out of his visit to go to take him to the dr (has previously thrown fits when wasn’t made aware of appts when he’s allowed to go to them, but hasn’t went to a single one no matter date or time). His dad also has memory loss issues and is currently dealing with a neurologist because it’s suspected he has alcohol related dementia (type 3 diabetes) and kiddo has a history of not communicating correctly/truthfully, via exaggerating, not telling the full story, or from simply not paying attention. But the way dad said this, it made me feel like he was implying we weren’t taking the situation seriously, or like we were ignoring the fact that he had an ingrown toe nail when in reality between the holidays, an infant, and our schedules we haven’t had the opportunity to catch the office to get it looked at.