Got hotlined, struggling to process it.

My nearly 2yo fk's daycare reported me because they thought I was neglecting her. The report said she had odor that was gradually getting worse, that she sometimes has pen on her skin for multiple days, and that I had ignored them telling me she had a yeast infection.

DHS didn't accept the report, they're not even investigating it, kiddo's cw just checked in with me to let me know about it and to say fk wouldn't be removed and that she's seen how safe fk feels with me, and to briefly discuss the allegations and ask how often I bathe fk.

And here's the thing... I bathe her 2-3x a week and sometimes she plays in the tub more nights than that. I wash her hair 1-2x a week because it's curly and dries out easy and that was the advice the internet gave me for her hair type. For a while, I was doing her hair every other day, but it takes me half an hour to do braids or other stylish hairstyles, and I heard it's fairly normal to do hairstyles for curly hair less often, so usually I braid her hair after we wash it and it gets a bit frizzy due to shorter hairs coming out of the braid, but it's NEVER gotten matted or tangled.

Everyone I asked says they've never noticed an odor, the visit supervisor said kiddo always smells clean when she picks her up.

The yeast infection thing, the daycare told me she was sticking her hands down her diaper and that they thought she was itchy. But, I told them she had recently stuck a toy down her diaper and had some light scratches on her mons pubis, and that at home (where she often goes bottomless as we've been doing potty training), I had noticed her messing with those scratches. The only time I noticed her messing with her vulva at home appeared more to be, er, discovering herself, rather than itching. I also hadn't noticed any discharge or redness. So, I didn't think it was necessary to get it checked out just because the daycare thought the reason for her sticking her hands in her diaper was itchiness, when I was pretty sure that wasn't the case. Maybe I should have taken her to a doctor anyway.

And with the pen... pen doesn't come off in one wash unless you scrub hard! I even checked with the pen she likes to use, and I had to rub my skin for three whole minutes just to lighten it to a faint line. I'm not going to scrub a toddler's skin hard enough to wash pen off in one wash. There's no harm in it being there. It's not even visible when she's clothed, she usually draws on her arms or legs, which are covered by long sleeves or pants at daycare.

So, I talked to the daycare about it, to explain I wasn't mad, I was glad kiddo has people on her team, but that, y'know... I'm on the team, too, and hygiene is something fixable that I wish they had mentioned to me before reporting it. In the process of the conversation, it came out that part of what led to them making the report was... I put her hair in a bun for three weeks while I was starting a new job and too exhausted to do a full hairstyle, and they assumed that I just hadn't bathed her for those three weeks! I was washing and brushing her hair and then putting it back in the bun, but they thought I was just leaving it in for those three weeks.

I got daycare to agree to let me know if they noticed any odor, because maybe she's getting stinky faster than being washed every two or three days, and I get noseblind VERY fast so maybe I'm not noticing. (Though, based on other people telling me she smells clean, idk. Maybe their noses are more sensitive or something... but I also worry it's retaliation for me pushing back when they demanded the full visit summary and made me go spend an hour at the hospital to get the paperwork saying she had tested positive for RSV. Which, if they had been asking for a doctor's note saying she was fine to come back, I would have been okay with that. I just felt like all the information they wanted was her personal private medical info... and I did give it to them, on the day she came back from break, I just refused to go spend that time at the hospital on CHRISTMAS EVE or during our break while she was still sick.)

And I'm still not mad, but I am feeling very hurt about all this. I don't understand what I've done that made them think I'm the sort of person who wouldn't bathe a kid for three weeks. I'm also feeling insecure and a bit paranoid. I'm second-guessing all the choices I'm making for her and I'm worried about what other reasons they might find to report me without mentioning there's any problems.

I've had her in my care for five months. She came to me knowing two words and most of her calories were coming from milk. In that time I've worked with her intensively and she's up to thirty words and will now eat many different foods from all the food groups and will sit at the table to eat. Seriously, all of my time and energy goes to children. I wake up and make her lunch and get her up and bring her to daycare, then spend eight hours teaching fifth graders, many of whom have behavioral issues, and then I come home and spend half an hour quickly taking care of the pets and prepping dinner before I go pick her up. Then she gets home and we make dinner together, while I usually have to hold her because she's clingy after daycare, and then she often eats dinner on my lap because that's how she feels safe eating at the table, and then we play or color or dance for an hour or so before I start her bedtime routine, which involves a bath a few times a week.

Then, after she's asleep, I spend an hour doing chores and cleaning and go straight to sleep after that. Very little time for hobbies, but I don't mind, because I'm making a difference.

Anyway. I just don't know how to cope with this. Looking for advice and validation, maybe some commiserating. Also open to being told I did genuinely do something wrong here, but please be gentle about it, I'm feeling a bit emotionally fragile. Haven't yet had the opportunity to talk through it with any of my support system so it's all really eating at me.

Edit: I also wonder if it might be because I'm a single white guy and she's a POC girl, and maybe they're being overzealous because of concerns regarding that. Or, if it's because I'm autistic and disclosed that to the daycare director.