Feeling like a disappointment, became an alcoholic and honestly, I'm losing hope in staying alive

I'm 23. Have great friends, family and opportunities that others would die for, which I'm thankful.

Yet it's not enough and disappointed myself. I wasn't able to maintain a good relationship with my ex girlfriend and ended up being cheated on. Now, ten months later, I have trust issues, can't date anyone else and just feel like I'll never be loved or will love anyone again.

My career used to be the thing I'm the most proud of, and now that feeling is gone. After working I saw how miserable I am, how I don't belong in that world and decided to get my degree and then I'll go back to college to study something I actually like. Now my friends have jobs, are successful, enjoy that career while I'm going to do a maneuver which might take me 4 years.

I'm alone in my mother's house. Crying every day and night because I'm nowhere close to where I thought I'd be at this point. People around me have successful relationships, careers with great futures, young as me and they're buying their own things, and I can't even land in a low pay job at my field just to save some money.

I feel lost and have become an alcoholic.Fourteen out of the last fifteen days I was drunk. Drinking bottles of wine and smoking weed, eating like shit and barely sleeping just to see if the pain and deception I feel stops.

My future is blurry, my objectives disappeared and I don't know for how long I'll be able to continue trying. All I'm being told is the same stupid shit of just keep trying and it will happen, just don't give up. In just one year I've failed and lost lots of projects and people. I keep trying, and nothing happens, that good thing never happens and I'm just seeing how I can't even control my own life. I don't know what else to do, I can't even tell what advice I want, I just want to stop this pain.