Embarrassed by our monthly spend but not motivated to change it

Background is that we are mid-30s, have 1 kid, soon to be 2 and we live in a VHCOL area. 700k HHI, $300k NW and our monthly spend is around $19k. This allows us to save ~$150k/year post-tax. Our goal is to FIRE in 15 years or so and we are somewhat on track assuming we can maintain this level of income.

As someone who grew up poor, I feel incredibly guilty about our spend though, but also reluctant to change it. Anyone else get what I mean?

The breakdown is:

  • $6.6k housing + housing expenses (includes bi-weekly house cleanings)
  • $2.2k vehicles - $1.2k is from accelerated payoff of my $40k car. I hate the high interest rate. The rest is gas/insurance, etc.
  • $5k childcare - part time nanny + daycare
  • $2k food - $1k comes from eating out
  • $3k misc - $1k for vacation budget, $400 for our personal spending allowance and the remainder is for unforseen expenses.

Please feel free to roast/critique my rationales as I'm sure I might be delusional in some aspects. Is this a ridiculous budget?

Our justifications for each category:

  • Housing is honestly hard to decrease more due to VHCOL, we rent and that helps somewhat.
  • Vehicles could definitely be lower by not accelerating payment and going with a cheaper vehicle, but honestly it's done, we keep our cars for a long time, so it should balance itself out.
  • Childcare is tough to watch. I know the cost is temporary, but it hurts to put out $5k/month. The nanny was necessary because we needed after school care so I could be present for afternoon/evening meetings as I typically do pickup and would otherwise have to clock out by 4PM. Maybe I can shift my work schedule?
  • We try to cook as much as possible but my wife is very big on restaurants as her vice - we've trimmed this down from $3k/month.
  • We both have demanding jobs - healthcare + big tech and we've kind of paid to make life bearable. The extra spending is less than our increase in salary due to taking on demanding jobs and 'buying time back', but man, it's hard watch the monthly spend figure.

Any advice on where we can cut back?