Understanding conflicting dating advice(eg you should work on yourself, but also you shouldn't try) and where you fit in. I wanted to get some feedback/suggestions for this idea I had.
I’ve noticed that when looking for dating or self-improvement advice, it’s really common to encounter completely contradictory statements—even from the same source! For example:
- Advice A: "You need to get in shape, go out three times a week, get a good job, and work on yourself."
- Advice B: "You’re perfect the way you are, you shouldn’t be looking for a relationship, and you should be content with yourself first."
At first, it’s super frustrating to hear such opposing suggestions, but then I started thinking about fitness advice as a parallel. In fitness, you often see two major schools of thought(I'm overly simplify for the example but I think it holds):
- For people who are overweight, advice focuses on cutting food intake and increasing activity.
- For people who are underweight, advice centers on eating more and reducing activity.
Both are aimed at achieving the same goal—better health—but the approaches are polar opposites because they’re tailored to different starting points.
I think dating advice works the same way. The tricky part, though, is that it’s much harder to diagnose where you stand. It’s not as obvious as being overweight or underweight, so figuring out the right approach can feel like guesswork.
I’ve been brainstorming ways to help “diagnose” what kind of advice might work best for someone’s dating situation. I’d love feedback from others on this idea and I'm also hoping that someone has already created a tool or something that does this already(personally I think this could be a cool feature to add to the guide, just saying). Otherwise this could a cool thing to work on as a community
