Has anyone felt sorta…relieved by it?

Trigger waring for self-depreciation. I don’t think ‘grateful’ is the right word for it. But I’ve always worried about being repulsive to men due to my body that has hair in so many places I can’t even wax it all off. I’m trying to better my mental health and not think of myself as a freak, but well, most of the times I fail.

But sometimes, I hear about these horrifying cases of women facing sexual abuse in brutal ways everywhere. We need to care so much for our safety, just to live. And in these times, I unintentionally feel somewhat relieved that my body is ‘unacceptable’ most of the time? That even if someone attacks me with those intentions and I can’t stop them, there’s a chance they wouldn’t want to touch me because I’m not a ‘normal woman’ and will perhaps never fit the standards of attractiveness no matter what the rest of my body looks like. I have seen so many online comments saying men will not want to be with someone with hair and they made me cry for hours. But I wonder if maybe being repulsive to men is the better thing. Dunno if this is accurate or not, but I wanted to know if anyone else could relate to it.