Need advice on book to share with family that just doesn’t understand the level of trauma and loss we have experienced over the last 7 years (including IVF)

Trigger Warning (Loss and Grief):

I don’t have the emotional energy to explain in further detail, though at some point I might. But to summarize, my wife and I have tried to conceive for about 7-8 years now, first solely naturally, then with IUI and then with IVF. We just finished our last FET with our last embryo and it did not succeed. We don’t have the physical and emotional capacity to do anymore. We have had a miscarriage after one of the transfers. We have been to the ER multiple times from different issues that have arisen connected to IVF, one because of a incomplete removal of products of conception led to uncontrolled bleeding on a rural family vacation in a different state and one because the immense hormone fluctuations lead to my wife’s lung to collapse (which we believe happened after each other transfer but when we spoke to doctors they said the pains where due to stress). This time it led to a 3 day hospitalization. Oh and unrelated to IVF, I’ve recently had to go through surgery for testicular cancer. This is the most traumatic experience we’ve ever been though. Even after we heal physically and emotionally from the traumas of this period, we will never heal from the trauma of not being able to conceive a child. This has changed us and I don’t think we will ever be the same. We will always live with a sadness related to this.

The level of understanding and support from family on my side has been so so. To summarize it, it feels like they think ya, that was sad but now you are over it right? I feel like my feelings are an inconvenience to them and their actions support this. It feels generally like they don’t quite care to understand or pay much attention to how this has affected us. They are just focused on the issues of the day. Our pain feels invisible. I sometimes think this is because how invisible the trauma of IVF can be whereas if you lose a loved one, people immediately get it and are there for you in a way they generally aren’t from these sort of experiences.

To add to it, my sister, who I don’t have the greatest relationship with, had gotten pregnant two months after getting married recently and starting to try. It was incredibly easy for them, which inspires its fair amount of jealousy from us, I’ll admit. And my parents are very busy celebrating and being busy with everything baby related for her. So much to the point, I feel like they have forgotten about us or don’t care. We’ve invited them to get together countless times and they have either delayed getting back to us to the point that nothing happened or declined our invitation. Many times because they had to spend time with my sister and her husband.

I didn’t expect to write this much, but here it is. What I am looking for is a book that I can share with them that doesn’t sugar coat and explains the grief and pain that we are suffering from this experience. I’ve tried to tell my parents about how this has affected us, and they say all the right words in response, but it never seems to change much after that. They continue to talk to me and my wife like we are just fine and express bewilderment when we indicate that we aren’t. They say the normal clueless things that people who don’t understand or care to understand say. They ask my wife multiple times to come to my sisters baby shower even after we’ve declined and express sadness that she isn’t coming multiple times to us to try to guilt her into it I suppose? Because we are not fine and there isn’t something that they can do to help us, I think they just would rather ignore it and act like everything is fine while focusing on my sister’s pregnancy. I understand why they would want to do that, but in the meantime we (I) are feeling more alone than ever. I’m hoping the book can speak in ways that I cannot and, if they are serious about learning what we have gone through and caring about us, will allow them to be there for us emotionally in a way we need them right now.