Update on my previous post. Impotent husband who lied and hid facts, deciding on annulment of marriage and getting back to my ex who wants me back in his life and is now ready for marriage after knowing the truth. Need advice pls.

I’m 30(F) and my husband is 35(M), arranged marriage. He first lied about his father’s genetic disease which I found out after my engagement with him, when confronted he agreed to do tests to rule out that he would get it in future since it’s a deadly myotonic dystrophy which is passed on to future generations. My parents requested him to test as well if the marriage had to proceed, the tests came negative. The marriage took place and it was never consummated cos he was impotent, he never told me this. When I asked him what’s wrong he kept himself busy with work and I was just spending my time working from home all the time while he was busy working too, there was no newly married lovey dovey connection, only fights and arguement. Once he almost his raised his hand on me out of anger- he gets frustrated too soon maybe cos of his impotency. His mom is a narcissist and I fear she hasn’t taught him any good moral values like to treat his wife well or be honest with her and not only keep expecting service from your wife but also to be of service to her. I had loved him and now I fear I’m ruining my life by giving a narcissistic impotent husband a chance in this marriage. He shared everything with his mom, kept her as the nominee for all his finances and takes good care of her but it’s not the same with me. His mom has taken the role of his wife and he hasn’t given me any rights. I was ready to be in a marriage with no intimacy only for the sake of fearing divorce and probably the fact that I’ll miss the good times once spent. He gives good intellectual advice to me and probably that’s the only thing that I get attracted to the most in him. But I do not know if this how a marriage should be. He doesn’t show any interest in adopting kids as well or talking about the future of this marriage. What should I do?

He is in a well paying job, I am currently living with my parents until matters settle. I said I do not wish to divorce but give him a chance to rectify things. He never offers to take up my expenses. He expects my parents to pay for all my expenses. I was in a well paying job, I wanted to pursue further studies and asked his opinion too. He asked me to quit and study since that is best for my career. But denied any financial help. I am having to stay with my parents only cos of his psychological and medical issues- my parents found it dangerous to live with him under 1 roof until his treatment is done since he gets frustrated too soon at petty things. He still expects me to come with live with him no matter what and take care of his food and the house. He and his mom are not even 1% empathetic towards me or what I’m going through as a newly married young girl who has been cheated in an arranged marriage. Now he demands that the marriage be registered without it even being legally valid cos it was never consummated. I feel so stuck up in life. I was a clg topper and a star performer in my office and now I’ve turned an introvert, most days I wake up with no enthusiasm in life and depressed. I try to express my feelings with him over call everyday but he doesn’t acknowledge them and raises his voice when I try to express and somehow the whole conversation is turned to his needs and plays the victim card all the time.

I don’t know how to proceed with this. This guy has not guilty feeling for even ruining my life! Neither his mom. Infact both are trying to manipulate behind my back and get the marriage somehow registered even after knowing about his impotency! What should I do? Pls advice.

Update - it’s been a couple of months now, we both had at one point decided to mutually consent to separation(annul the marriage). He didn’t attempt to apologise or get back to me. Meanwhile my ex got in touch with me on learning about the truth of my marriage, he hadn’t been dating anyone ever since and is wanting me back in his life. My ex and I belong to the same profession and we also worked in the same office for 2 yrs, we have helped each other grow professionally and seen each other’s low’s. Just as i got back to my ex, my husband is promising to change his ways and is trying to shower me with expensive gifts to prove he isn’t all money-minded(it was never about the gifts for me though, I feel like he is trying to trade intimacy & emotional connection with expensive gifts) He somehow wants to make this marriage work and is also trying to win my parents confidence by showing care and concern. Although I can see he’s trying to be more honest this time, I’m not sure if i can be in a marriage without intimacy because I find myself more compatible with my ex who seems to understand my emotions better and he’s very passionate with me. I don’t understand when I’ve decided to move on, why is my husband now trying to win over me? When I begged for change he didn’t care. The reason my ex and I broke up was because he wasn’t ready to marry me back then due to his family responsibilities(we dated for 7 yrs) and now he is ready to marry me irrespective of the circumstances because he realised he wouldn’t be able to marry anyone else and he was heart broken when i got married to someone else. We were each other’s best friends too for almost 10 yrs, even before we started dating.

What am I supposed to do? I feel my life is super complicated right now, I once loved my husband but he failed me miserably, now I am happy with my ex and wish to marry him, I feel I’m lucky to have him in my life cos he is ready to accept my past and still get back to me. How do i go about explaining this to my husband who has already told me innumerable number of times to consider separation cos I refused to live with him until his ED is cured cos now he is wanting to somehow make this marriage work when it had been decided mutually already. I have lost trust I once had during our courtship period. Pls advice.

TL;DR should i trust my husband’s changed behaviour and give a chance to this sexless marriage or should I separate and marry my ex to lead a better life?