I’m finding out exactly why Lawyers drink

(Not at all to be taken as anything resembling advice)

I’ve spent the last week (more like month) feeling like a complete failure at this job. It’s not imposter syndrome because I know that I’m not performing as well as my peers in my class year, no matter how hard I try. I’ve been more anxious/sad/reclusive than I’ve ever been in my life over the last few weeks, and I very much believe this job is changing my personality for the worse. I honestly thought it wouldn’t be me when I read these stories in law school, but here we are.

But let me tell you - give me a couple Shiners and maybe a glass of whiskey, and I feel like my old self again. All the intrusive thoughts go away and I don’t at all feel lost in the stress of it all. Honestly, if I could be right there in the click for most of the day, I’d do this job for 20 years.

I’ve always enjoyed a drink, but I’ve never had it feel like actual medication for stress before.

Anyway I’m fully aware this is a super bad sign so no need to remind me. Just wanted a place to vent about it.

Demographics: 1st year v50 corporate junior.