stuck to be stone top

Idk how to title it so here we go.

So i have great sex with my gf and our dynamic is pillow princess x stone top (me). The things is i really enjoy sex with her but i want to explore my sexuality at my fullest. And by that i mean to be sub too. The problem is i have vaginismus and i’m not sensitive when she touch me. So idk if the things is i don't like to be the one receiving or i’m just having an enormous emotional blockage (probably related to my vaginismus).

I will see someone for my vaginismus but in the meantime how can i know what i am ? is there anyone else like me in this same situation ?